Finding Your Safe Place

Have you ever felt as if you just want a safe place to just Be?

What do I mean exactly?

Your Life Your Way, Feel Safe Being YOU…Guilt Free has a much deeper meaning than doing what you want when you want and how you want.

If I look back through my life, back to the little girl me, I can see I have sought many times that safe space to be myself.   The sad part, the Self was someone I was already forgetting who She really was.

You see, at a very early age we are already becoming who we are ‘expected’ to be.  Layers upon layers of the expectations of others. Those layers bury deeply our original, true selves.  We are so much more than this human flesh that carries us around.  We are here for so much more than to live by the expectations of others who are only living by their own conditioning. 

Those expectations, perceptions, the so-called rules of life cause us to create survival skills, hence, the need to feel safe.

I’m sure you are familiar with the fight/flight/freeze/fawn/flop which are the body’s automatic responses to perceived danger or threats to survival.  Which is your body’s normal go to?

Throughout my life I a have experienced my own fight/flight responses.  I have discovered this year that, somewhere along the way, I have changed from fight to flight.  It is amazing how the body and brain work so hard to keep us safe and yet, we still struggle to truly feel as if we are.

How to tell if you are not feeling safe?  Here are just a few examples.

1.    People Pleasing

2.    Worrying What Others Think

3.    Taking Things Personally

4.    Chasing Perfection

The fear of using your voice or being seen, not knowing, honoring and loving yourself are all signs of not feeling safe being you.

There are many other experiences that can push us into one of the automatic responses.  Heck, just driving over this tall bridge (over water) when I go to visit family, sends me into flight at 100mph.  It takes a few miles to get myself back to a calm state.   Knowing how to bring yourself back is important to your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual well-being.  When any of these are out of balance, it can affect every area of your life.

Imagine feeling safe in the space you are in and feeling safe WITHIN yourself!!!   Here is this article I would like to share with you one way you can begin to explore that, but I’m sure it is one you never thought of.

What is it?  Adaptive Yoga.  Yes, Yoga, but not the images that probably just came to your mind.  Adaptive is just that, adapted to each individual.  Your personal needs, abilities and journey on this path called Life

Here are examples to help you away from thinking about the traditional images in your mind.  It will help quiet that part of your brain that is now telling you NO YOGA.

          When in a traditional yoga class, you are most likely to trying to put your body into the same pose as the teacher or others around you. That may not necessarily be YOUR yoga pose the way you are being shown.  FIRST!  Your bones are different.  Trying to replicate a pose someone else is doing can risk injury.  Think square peg into a round hole.  It is disrespectful to your body and your mind to force something that is not right for you.   This goes to the other areas of your life, too.

With the absolute joy, fun and adventure of Adaptive Yoga, YOU are finding, creating your poses. YOU are exploring your body and relearning (because inherited unhealed generational wounds and society’s rules cause you to forget) what you are capable of.   You are exploring in a safe space around you which then allows you to find the safe space within you.  THAT is a glorious journey and discovery!

Let me offer one pose that will help you ground yourself and remind you of the balance of steadiness and ease you already possess.

MOUNTAIN POSE

Stand with your feet and legs approximately hip width apart. Feel the entirety of your feet supporting you. Let your arms relax at your sides.   Draw up strength through your legs engaging all four sides (inner thighs too), lengthening through the top of your head.

Gently pull your belly in and up towards your belly button.  This is a subtle movement and will create space for softness in your upper body vs the tension of holding your stomach in tightly.

Breathe.  Allow your shoulders and face to soften.  Breathe.

Notice the strength in your legs and the ease in your upper body. Notice you can ground in strength yet keep yourself open.  Do you feel safe here in the moment with this pose? 

This same grounding can be done anywhere you happen to be and are feeling tension, defensiveness and the need to take back some sense of control.  As you build your Mountain and breathe you pause and allow yourself the space for clarity on how to move forward to wherever you need or want to be physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually.

I am honored to hold safe space for my clients not only with this amazing yoga practice but also Restorative Yoga and my Empowered Living by Design / Less Stress & More Life coaching programs. Please don’t hesitate to reach out if you have any questions.  Feel free to email me at [email protected].

I hope today holds safe space for you.